The conversation of expectations

“Abe Saale tu zinda bhi hai ya mar gaya” - Sandy was shouting over the phone.

He had every right to display his anger. I had not been in touch with him for over two months.

“Zinda hi hoon, shayad.” I replied.

“Yaar, what are you doing this weekend? Let’s plan to meet at Jigi’s place” - Sandy was ready with the plan.

This was one of the two things Sandy was brilliant at – creating plans for get-togethers. The second thing was the swiftness with which he could change sides in a discussion.

“I am in. Jigi’s place, this Saturday at 5.” I said.

Jigi’s house at Juhu was our favorite place to meet. Sipping hot tea at his west-facing balcony and watching the setting sun was over favorite pass-time.

“Done Dona Done” Sandy confirmed.

Saturday 5 pm – We were in Jigi’s balcony and this time it was hot parathas with the regular tea.

“So Jigi, what’s the score?” asked Sandy

“5 so far” Jigi replied

I was confused. “What are you talking guys? What score? Please enlighten me.”

Sandy made things clear. “Jigika ladkiyan dekhneka program chalu ho gaya hai. 5 is the score so far.”

“What? That’s news. So, did you like anyone?” I asked raising my eye-brows.

“No yaar, the beautiful ones aren’t well educated and the educated one’s aren’t that beautiful” Jigi frowned.

“Marry a beautiful girl and educate her later, Simple hai!” Sandy suggested.

“And, why is this specific requirement of well-educated girl? Tu acha khasa to kama leta hai” I asked mockingly.

Jigi worked in a multinational KPO and earned really well by following the cryptic patterns of some foreign stock exchanges.

“It is just social status, yaar. I want a fairly educated wife, but she should know her limits and understand our culture.” Jigi replied.

“That is sounding pretty clichéd.” I said.

“What’s so clichéd in that? I would like my wife to understand that it’s me who will be taking the important decisions. I will be definitely smarter than my wife and so I can take the right decisions for both of us. Would you like if your wife takes decisions in your house?”

“Umm, I never thought so deeply over it. But, I don’t think that I will be having problems if my wife takes any decisions.” I replied.

“Kya baat kar raha hai? Won’t your parents have any problems with this?” Sandy interrupted.

“I don’t think so. What’s so problematic in this?” I said.

“Let me explain this to you...” Jigi began convincing with a serene face. He was pretty good at this. I used to wonder that he looks somewhere in between a philosopher and a politician when he starts convincing his point. “…100% of parents in India would like their son to dominate his married life and so do your parents. All your relatives will respect you if you take the decisions and your wife conforms to it.”

“Do you know my parents or any of my relatives? And I do not agree to this point of ‘dominating’ in a marriage” I said.

“Matlab tu kya joru ka gulam bankar rahega?” Jigi asked.

“Where are you dragging the discussion? Letting your wife take some decisions at home doesn’t make you a joru ka gulam.” I resisted.

“Jigi is right here. I will give everything in this world to my wife but she should not do something that I don’t like.” Sandy said.

Sandy uses the phrase ‘giving everything in this world’ many a times whenever he wants to display his affection for his parents, his siblings and now his wife. I don’t completely understand what it really means and feel like bursting with laughter on listening this, but each time I somehow control my laugh seeing his serious tone.

“You are losing 2-1, dear” Jigi said knowing that it was the right time to attack.

“Guys, these thoughts suit the 19th century. We all want things around to change, but we don’t want to change our own selves. And Jigi, your statistics of 100% of parents wanting some blah blah blah will remain the same if you will be having the same expectation as a parent from your son.” I was talking some disconnected stuff trying to bounce back in the discussion.

“That’s correct. Things need to change. And the statistics of 100%, I don’t agree to that either. Most people have bias in their thoughts, but you cannot claim that all are biased.” Sandy spoke and I was leading 2-1.

“These are necessary biases and there is no way that these biases can be removed” Jigi was trying to fight back, but I stopped him.

“Who told you that biases are necessary? I know that the world can never be perfect and unbiased, but should that stop us from at least trying to make it unbiased. It is your sub-conscious bias which is making you create these expectations about marriage.”

“What do you think? You are Gandhi or what?” Jigi reacted somehow irritated.

“Yes, I agree with Jigi. That’s too much of an impractical thought. If we know that the world cannot be unbiased why should we try to make it so?” Sandy said.

Jigi and I looked at each other. Sandy was again turning the tables.

“Guys, but my point is that …”

Trringggg... Jigi’s doorbell stopped me. It was Jigi’s uncle. Jigi’s father took him to the adjoining room. We could hear some conversation in bits and pieces.

“…Apne Anandbhai ki bhanji hai. Ladki sundar, sushil aur sanskari hai. Pitaji ka bada karobar hai, to fir...”

Jigi was listening intently to this. Now, it was Sandy and my turn to look at each other. There was a similar looking smile flashing on our faces.

Sandy and I took the local on our return journey. He was quite animatedly describing about some new girl in his office. But my mind was lingering somewhere else - in the discussion we had half an hour ago. Jigi’s grandpa would have had somewhat similar expectations in 1960. And what will happen in 2060 – Will Jigi’s grandson be having a same conversation of expectations – my paagal stupid mann kept wondering.